Cabbage leaves and Arnica

You remember that I fell over when we did the 12 hour overnighter? Unfortunately, it has come back to bite me in the bum...literally.

I have a slight groin strain and wait for it....a haematoma on the inside of my left bum cheek.  This is a very fancy way for the doctor to say I have a severely bruised inside buttock.  Oh my word, it is excruciating.

And the doctor's advice.... take some time off training and don't put any pressure on it.  ??

So that means no walking because of the downward pressure and no kayaking or cycling because of having to sit on it. That in itself is a problem, I can't sit on it because it causes pressure so how precisely am I meant to rest it??  I mean, what is a bum for if not for sitting on and having a rest?

The groin strain is relatively easy to treat. I am having sports massage regularly anyway and on the therapists advice doing gentle stretches, applying heat and taking anti-inflammatories.  So I am borrowing my son's lavender-scented, pig-shaped, millet-filled heated hottie and applying it to the affected area. Simples!  Although, I didn't tell him precisely where I was applying the heat bag which is now comfortingly warming my aching tendons.

My bum will benefit from the anti-inflammatories and according to the doctor, paracetomol,  the panacea to all aches and pains, is also a good call.  I must admit I was very disheartened when I came out of the doctor's surgery this morning.  I had gone there in my cycle kit ready to go out for a nice looong 4 hour cycle this morning. I was very disappointed when she recommended that I didn't do it.
I also think she couldn't get her head around what I was actually training for.  I think she thought I was a bit nuts...  I can't imagine why.

Like a good little patient, I listened to the Doctor, went home, took off my kit and wore normal clothes.  I was really upset about her advice and I know at this stage, every training session is vital and is one session closer to the actual race.  I am getting increasingly excited about it now.  So, I was really quite tearful when I phoned Ross...

Ross was very sympathetic and also, encouraging, saying we needed to think about how to deal with the situation.

"You could use arnica..."
"There's no way I am rubbing arnica cream where the sun don't shine."
"Not the cream, he said, "The tablets."
"Oh riiight!"  I remembered that we used to have a bottle of the pillets.  After I rang off, I gingerly went downstairs and dug around in the medicine cupboard. 

"Oh bum!"  (appropriate expletive I think) The bottle was empty.

Then tonight, Ross, having trawled the internet for suggestions, has told me about another alternative treatment that I should try.

Ross says I need to apply cabbage leaves to the affected area. Yes, that's right,  apparently I need to put cabbage leaves in my knickers.

And we all know what cabbage smells like.

Ok, so there is a logic to this cabbage thing.  Breast-feeding mothers have been known, myself included in the past, to put cabbage leaves in their bra to help with swelling and discomfort and it did work. So I am willing to give cabbage in the knickers a go.

Consequently, tomorrow morning, I am going to the shops, with a pig-shaped, lavender scented millet bag strapped to my groin and I am going to buy a cabbage and some arnica.

I shall then spend the day smelling like a very old lady.... stale fart and lavender....nice!

The things I do for this race....